Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Your Morning News
Posted by Josh in Arcade Fire, Barack Obama, Castro, Cuba, David Brooks, hillary clinton, Pakistan, White Men, Wisconsin, Your Morning News
The biggest news today is that Fidel Castro, the aged leader of Communist Cuba and track suit aficionado, will be retiring. Finally, the long national nightmare is over and we have defeated the godless Communists! Castro announced his retirement in his newspaper column. Can you imagine if our President had a newspaper column? Wouldn’t that be great? We could finally have a forum for insights like these unencumbered by the idiot “journalists.”
Pakistan held elections yesterday which saw President Musharraf’s party losing seats in Parliament to the two opposition parties. There were clashes at polling stations all across the country with dozens reported dead, but most experts say the elections were relatively free and fair (so about as good as Florida). President Musharraf may be removed from power by the new opposition-controlled parliament or he may step down himself. This won’t really effect the United States, since we do whatever the hell we want in Pakistan. If anyone asks you about this, just say that it will likely strain ethnic and tribal tensions in Pakistan (that is my go-to answer for when anyone asks me about anything having to do with Pakistan).
Keep an eye on the Wisconsin Democratic Primary Election today and watch as people are prepare for next week’s elections in Texas and Ohio. Many stories are highlighting the irony that a campaign that has been so dominated by race and gender issues is coming down to states where the largest voting blocks are white men. I, for one, think it is about damn time that white men decided something in this country.
Today’s New York Time’s column that if you replaced “Obama” with “Arcade Fire” could be a pitchfork review: David Brooks! Congratulations Mr. Brooks, don’t forget to pick up your gift bag. I guess they still tease him in the Times newsroom for this, so he felt the need to get some street cred back. For the record, this blog totally knew about Obama before he went all main-stream and thinks his early stuff was way better.
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