Sunday, February 24, 2008

80th Annual 2.0somethings Oscar Liveblog

Posted by Josh in liveblog, Oscars

11:56 pm – Josh – No Country for Old Men got the awards for Best Director and Best Picture. After tortuously stretching out the ceremony for 3.5 hours, the last 10 minutes and the biggest awards were rushed through. Overall, this whole thing kind of blew. I have banished most of our liveblog to after the jump. Let’s never speak of it again.

11:35 pm – Jeff - Daniel Day gets it, and will now return to his secluded underground lair for another 8 years before he resurfaces in another brilliant role. Let’s take this moment to acknowledge last night’s awesome SNL parody of There Will Be Blood.

11:28 pm – Josh - The first writers strike shout out? From a stripper? Diablo Cody wins best original screenplay for Juno.

11:02 pm – Josh – There have been many women in this ceremony that I am in love with. Cameron Diaz is not one of them.

10:51 pm – Josh – It has been 30 minutes since I have found anything worth posting and to be fair I still really haven’t. Oh look, John Travolta, he’s old, or fat, or a scientologist, or a pilot… or something. This ceremony is owning my soul.

10:21 pm – Josh – 50% of Jon Stewart’s jokes are going to be personal electronics-based. He gets to keep whatever he uses. After the next montage he is going to work in driving a Porsche in an elaborate setup about Javier Bardem.

10:18 pm – Jeff - Rob, who’s over here watching, just said that Colin Farrell looks like a low-budget TV movie version of Daniel Day-Lewis. Agreed.

10:14 pm – Jeff - Wow, Marion Cotillard just thanked “love”. Fantastic. Give her another award just to keep her on stage.

10:09 pm – Josh – The ceremony is much cooler just for having Jonah Hill and Seth Rogan in it.

9:57 pm – Josh -

Dear ABC Producers,

Bring back Amy Adams and put her in an awesome musical number. She got the shaft in the earlier one. And it is not nice to do that to my future wife.

Sincerely, Josh

9:52 pm – Josh – guys, just because you have the montages doesn’t mean you have to show them! You have the celebrities!! This is why we ended the strike!

9:31 pm – Josh - Tilda Swinton wins Best Supporting Actress for Michael Clayton, I don’t think it will win much else. Wow, this acceptance speech is awesome. The more references to Batman and Robin that this ceremony can contain, the more I will like it. So far two (one was on the red carpet).

9:34 pm – Jeff - Ugh, it’s the night of a thousand montages. No wonder Stewart gave us such a sad smile after their gag montages – there are many, many remaining.

9:22 pm – Jeff - SPANISH in a SUPPORTING ACTOR acceptance speech? Not my America!!

9:21 pm – Josh - Best Supporting Actior goes to Javier Bardem No one is surprised. If anyone else had won they would have been killed using a pneumatic punch.

9:17 pm – Josh – Man I love that Cuba Gooding speech.

9:08 pm – Josh – Jeff has finally caught up, and there was that bitchen Michael Bay Verizon commercial (closest he is going to get to the ceremony). I am going to get some chips.

9:00 pm – I hope La vie en rose wins more awards (just won makeup) so that they will keep cutting to Marion Cotillard.

8:57 pm – Ratatouille for the WIN. Take that oppressed women of Iran.

8:55 pm – Can Steve Carell present every award?

8:52 pm – Somehow I am actually enjoying this montage. Maybe because I recognized about 30% of it. Usually I don’t recognize any. Wow, history of the Oscars followed by two product placements in a row.

8:49 pm - Jeff again. I’m catching up. Jon Stewart’s monologue mostly forgettable, but all was forgiven the second Jennifer Garner opened her mouth.

8:48 pm – Some period piece about Queen Elizabeth won for costumes. Weren’t there about 37 of those in the past two or three years?

8:43 pm – Jeff has just accused me of having impure thoughts about Ellen Page. This is true.

8:41 pm – Withdrawing the Iraq movies will only embolden the audience! Pretty political. I love limousine liberals.

8:38 pm – FINE, rub it in. Unless Transformers was nominated for an Oscar, I haven’t seen as many as Jeff. Was Transformers nominated?

8:34 pm – Jeff here. Due to my obsessive Clooney man crush, I’m catching the end of Michael Clayton again, so I haven’t started watching the actual coverage yet. Can’t believe I’m missing the Reeg.

Here’s what I personally have seen from the full list of nominees tonight:

• American Gangster
• The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
• The Bourne Ultimatum
• Charlie Wilson’s War
• Gone Baby Gone
• I’m Not There
• Juno
• Lars and the Real Girl
• Michael Clayton
• No Country for Old Men
• Persepolis
• Ratatouille
• Sicko
• There Will Be Blood
• Transformers (wow)

That’s a surprisingly decent slate of movies. Now this year, we’re looking forward to… You Don’t Mess With the Zohan.

8:31 pm – Red Carpet is over. George Clooney was the best dressed. Javier Bardem was the best dressed if this ceremony was in 2005. Ben Affleck apparently has fallen so low he can’t even rate as arm candy anymore.

8:29 pm – Regis is closing the Red Carpet special. His batteries can only last for so long. Kelly Ripa is actually a charging station.

8:24 pm – Friend of the blog Jillian is also liveblogging. Regis is currently screaming at foreigners. Maybe that is why they hate our freedom?

8:22 pm – As promised, we are liveblogging tonight’s Oscars. I am going to be getting things started and soon be joined by Jeff. Since I have no technical acumen, things will be scary until Jeff gets here so bear with me. So far, all you have missed would be my pithy observations about Regis.

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