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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Your Morning News: 3.27.08

Posted by Josh in , , , , , , ,

The New York Times leads with a marquee (code for long) piece chronicling an American contractor who was hired by the Pentagon to providing supplies and ammunition to the Afghan military and police forces (that is, they were providing them until the army was notified of the story). Apparently, the company is run by a 22-year-old former masseur (go 2.0somethings!) out of an unmarked Miami Beach office. The company has a penchant for buying ammunition from former Soviet block countries and China that was made in the 50s and 60s. I highly recommend you check out the piece. Apparently, the tipoff for the Times was when several Humvees that were delivered didn’t pass inspecting and turned out to be made of chocolate.

If I had actually done the morning news yesterday instead of oversleeping, I would be able to say, “Like we talked about yesterday, Shiite militias in Basra and Baghdad continued to clash with Iraqi security forces.” I say this just so that you are aware this has been going on for a few days and don’t e-mail your friends with, “OMG DID YOU HEAR ABOUT IRAQ.” What, am I the only person who does stuff like that?

Senator McCain yesterday gave a speech outlining his foreign policy positions. He sought to contrast himself from President Bush while at the same time saying that we will be in Iraq forever. He also called for the creation of a “League of Democracies,” which is like a cool kids United Nations where smelly China and stupid North Korea don’t get to come and play.

At the same time Senator McCain was talking about his foreign policy, we were getting a taste of what President McCain’s foreign policy would probably look like. The U.S. has been scaling up the number of unilateral attacks it has been making inside of Pakistan targeting Al Queda fighters. Apparently, we are afraid that the new democratically elected new Prime Minister is going to scale back the military operations being conducted there and may ask the US to please stop bombing Pakistan. We can’t have that, so we are trying to get all the bombing we can in under the buzzer. Let Freedom Ring.

Another story of importance to Senator McCain is that apparently there are massive changes going on in the way we treat heart attacks. Many new reports and studies say that drugs, combined with diet and exercise, make angioplasty (blowing a small balloon to clear blocked arteries) unnecessary. This is compounded by new studies showing that angioplasty can be quite dangerous. This probably wasn’t worth including, but sometimes I include an entire news story just for the joke in the first sentence.

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