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Monday, January 5, 2009

OMG TV: There’s a fiesta in my pants

Posted by Jeff in , , , , , , , , ,

fiesta-bowl

Top Gear

8:00 (BBC America)

The trio of British gearheads travel to the Land of the Rising Sun, in what I’m sure will be the best car-related programming to come out of Japan since 3 Fast 3 Furious: Tokyo Drift.

Fiesta Bowl

8:15 EST (FOX)

Yes, it’s the bowl game that is also probably something on the dollar menu at Taco Bell!  Watch Ohio State battle Texas, and watch as the victorious coach gets dunked in nacho cheese.

How I Met Your Mother

8:30 (CBS)

It’s a repeat of this season’s opener, which means you can relive that glorious month that was September 2008.  Hey, remember when McCain suspended his campaign?  Is there anyone cooler than Michael Phelps?

Late Night

Kate Hudson is nearly famous on Letterman, Terry Bradshaw keeps hoping Failure to Launch 2 will sustain his acting career on Leno, Benicio del Toro is on Conan for 5 hours, Richard Lewis is the guest from hell on Ferguson, David Gregory meets the fake press on the Daily Show, and John King continues to stalk the Comedy Central crowd on Colbert.

Friday, December 19, 2008

When can we start to like John McCain again?

Posted by Jeff in , , , ,

how-i-met-your-walnuts

  • When his wife dumps him. Entirely unsubstantiated rumor flying around the Interwebs has Cindy McCain carrying on an affair with a Maryland divorce attorney.   How better to gain sympathy?
  • When he loses 5 of his 7 houses. See above.
  • When he makes us ribs. During the campaign, McCain nearly kept the Obama-loving press in his corner with his well-known barbeque skills.  Hit us up, Johnny, we’ll bring the potato salad.
  • When he singlehandedly catches Osama Bin Laden. He’s promised he knows how to do so, and I’m sure despite losing the Presidency, he’ll still book a trip to the gates of hell.
  • When he lets Meghan do Playboy.
  • When he guest stars not just on 24, but on How I Met Your Mother. See photo above.
  • When he inadvertently outs Sen. Graham by calling him his confirmed bachelor friend. Come on, the guy’s name is Lindsey.

Monday, December 15, 2008

OMG TV: Trainspotting and other holiday favorites

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trainspotting

8:00 - Heat (Bravo)

It’s Pacino vs. De Niro, and don’t worry, it’s definitely not Righteous Kill.

8:00 - I want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown (ABC)

Good God, what the hell is this one?  From 2003, apparently, and it centers on ReRun, the piece of shit from when Peanuts jumped the shark in 1973.

8:30 - How I Met Your Mother (CBS)

I finally did it: I watched an episode of this, Josh’s favorite show, Doogie & The Gang or whatever it’s called.  And you know what?  Not half-bad.  Not half-bad.  Not enough to get me to turn away from Antique’s Roadshow at 8:30, but it was still something.

9:00 - Trainspotting (IFC)

Nothing will put you in the holiday spirit more than mind-numbing tales of crippling addiction.  (There’s some Intervention episodes on A&E too.)

9:30 - Charlie Wilson’s War (HBO)

Tom Hanks fixes Afghanistan!  Philip Seymour Hoffman shouts a lot!  Aaron Sorkin pens!

Late Night

Adam Sandler tells Letterman some Bedtime Stories (get it? get it?), Kate Winslet seduces a 16-year old Leno, Amy Adams and Eddie Izzard both have the privelege of discussing events of the day with Conan, and The Daily Show and Colbert are done for the year.

Quiet, you: Rocky, Bullwinkle & Company streaming online

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peabody

Hello there.  Peabody here.  This is my boy, Sherman.

“Mister Peabody, it sure is amazing we can stream the first season of Rocky and Bullwinkle on Hulu anytime we want!”

Quiet, you. These good people wouldn’t be interested without Fractured Fairy Tales and the adventures of yours truly.

“But Mister Peabody, they’re all included!”

Very well.  I suppose that makes it Hulu for nous.

“Mister Peabody, that’s not even a pun.  Also, I made a mess on the living room carpet.”

That’s a bad boy, Sherman.  Bad boy.

Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends

Thursday, November 27, 2008

OMG TV: Thursday Thanksgiving Thelevision

Posted by Jeff in , , , , , , , , , ,

animated-turkey-with-football Time for the most special television day of the year: Thanksgiving!  Prepare for hundreds of crappily computer animated turkeys waddling across the screen at all times - just like this one!  Look at him go, down the field!  Rah rah rah!

It’s not that the TV is particularly good or anything today, but it certainly is plentiful and it provides the perfect excuse to stay the hell away from the kitchen, because face it, you’re not qualified for anything besides opening the canned cranberry sauce.  After the jump, your full guide to the day’s boob tube festivities.

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