Monday, June 16, 2008
Dammit, can’t you tell I’m trying to watch playoff golf? If you must watch TV later, then check out:
7:00 - Red Sox at Phillies (ESPN)
Red Sox! Thrillies! Young Cole Hamels! What more do you need?
8:00 - American Gladiators (NBC)
I seem to remember an ad for tonight’s Gladiators featuring a ridiculously cool new people-flying-around-in-midair event. Which is good, becuase the last new people-flying-around-in-midair event kinda sucked.
10:00 - Weeds & Secret Diary of a Call Girl (Showtime)
Season premiere of Weeds, series premiere of Call Girl, I guess. Alls I knows is that I do enjoy these posters I’ve seen plastered up all over the NYC subway.
Late Night
Come on, Tiger, come on, Tiger… Mike Myers on Letterman, Anne Hathaway on Leno, Ann Curry on Conan, Alfred Molina on Ferguson, some authors I’ve never heard of on Daily Show and Colbert. WOW HE DID IT TIGER RULES.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Cook up some microwave popcorn, burn a twenty dollar bill, and it’ll be just like you’re at the theaters! I have enlisted my dear friend, the IMDb Memorable Quotes page, to provide commentary on each of these films:
8:00 - The Perfect Storm (TNT)
“Hey, you promised me a shitload of fish!”
8:00 - Hellboy (FX)
“Mmmmmm nachos.”
8:00 - Hackers (Fuse)
“Spandex: it’s a privilege, not a right.”
Late Night
Zooey Deschanel is adorable on Letterman, Dana Carvey is disturbingly old on Leno, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings are soulful on Conan, Stockard Channing is something or other on Ferguson, Rick Shenkman cares about the American voter on the Daily Show, and David Hadju scares us all about comic books on Colbert.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
9:00 pm - NBA Finals : “Game 3: Celtics at Lakers” (ABC)
The big question tonight is if the Celtics can win on the road. They arrive in Hollywood with a 2-0 lead and with Paul Pierce still wearing a totally unnecessarily knee brace. Watch for the Lakers to pull the same stunt when in the third quarter a rabid fan charges the court to stab Kobe Bryant in the chest repeatedly. Bryant will be pronounced dead at the scene, only to return at the beginning of the fourth and score 27 unanswered points.
8:00 pm - Coupling (BBC America)
What? We are recommending a BBC show you have never heard of. Why yes Josh is writing the TV post tonight, why do you ask? Coupling is basically a funnier and sexier version of Friends. If you are looking for a light sitcom to enjoy over the summer, you could do a lot worse. If it sounds familiar, there was an American version that launched in 2003, but it tanked and was quickly canceled. If you like the Office, you might want to give this a shot.
9:00 pm - Futurama (Comedy Central)
Listen, Jeff warned you yesterday, summer is here so there just isn’t that much on and we are going to be recommending some syndicated shows. But if you don’t like basketball (or are just creeped out by Larry Bird’s shoulders) this is a classic episode of Futurama. It’s the one where Fry goes back to college, Bender joins a frat and a bowler hat makes a monkey super-intelligent.
LATE NIGHT
Letterman has Mark Wahlberg, Leno has Justin Timberlake and Conan has Jeff Corwin. Colbert has Alan Rabinowitz, an expert on tigers, and Stewart has Ralph Reed, the head of the Christian Coalition. $10 says that Colbert is grills his guest on the dangers of tigers harder than Stewart grills his on the dangers of religion in politics.
Icelandic phenoms Sigur Rós are back with a new album, Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust. (I believe the English translation is Chinese Democracy.)
Apparently, the band felt that their ethereal symphonic jams still weren’t going to connect with the mass American audiences, so they teamed up with Brooklyn photographer Ryan McGinley (website, not work safe) to stick some naked teenagers on their album cover (seen slightly altered above) and throughout their new music video.
Playful nudity aside, the album is great. You can listen to the whole thing for free via newfangled widget technology after the jump.
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Monday, June 9, 2008
Yes, it’s summer. Yes, this is going to be painful to get through, but we’re going to do it together, dammit. So here, take my hand, and let’s channel surf our fears away…
8:00 - American Gladiators (NBC)
They take this “contestants must have sob stories” thing way, way, way too far sometimes. Tonight: a Columbine survivor. Really. He beat Klebold and Harris, but can he withstand the sheer lunacy of Wolf??
9:00 - Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired (HBO)
I believe this made-for-TV documentary is essentially a step by step how-to guide for when you need to roofie an underage girl in your hot tub.
10:00 - Star Trek: The Next Generation “Q-Who?” (Sci-Fi)
Look, if we’re gonna make it through the summer, we’re going to have to watch some syndicated reruns. Try this on for size: the debut of the Borg in the Star Trek universe, featuring that fanciful lad Q. You’re going to have to trust me, I promise this is better than Oxygen’s Ocean’s 12 marathon. Cross my heart.
Late Night
Tom Brokaw and Gnarls Barkley on Dave, some British guy named Russell Brand on Leno, Robert Smigel on Conan, Betty White on Ferguson (nice), vice presidential hopeful Sen. Jim Webb on the Daily Show, and writer Philip Weiss on Colbert.
