May sweeps are upon us , that means season finales and premieres as real TV ends and bizarro summer TV begins.
8:30 pm EST – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
I will watch the show wrap up confident that it has been picked up for another season but with the gnawing doubt that it was saved by Britney Spears. It’s like the beating of a hideous heart!
9:00 pm EST – House (FOX)
This show pretty much jumped the shark as soon as it brought on Kumar. However, I am considering tuning in for this episode because of the following 6 words: “Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst guest stars.” Man, whatever happened to that guy.
8:00 pm EST - American Gladiators (NBC)
I missed last week’s premiere, as did a lot of people. Apparently men in spandex hitting each other with foam pads doesn’t have the same appeal when there isn’t a writers strike going on. I will be tuning in tonight, as the show turns around and begins its inexorable march towards becoming not only the smash hit of the summer, but the highest-rated program ever (take that Super Bowl XLII).
Last Night
Stewart and Colbert are on vacation (not that anything political is happening). Letterman has Kevin Spacey and Sen. Jim Webb – he wants to remind everyone he does NOT want to be Vice President (Webb, that is, actually probably Spacey too). Leno has Simon Cowell and Conan has Kevin Nealon.
I feel bad, I forgot to remind everyone to watch American Gladiators last night, and they go and have terrible ratings. And now look at poor Titan. NEVER AGAIN.
9:00 – Reaper (CW)
I don’t remember ever typing (CW) before. Anyway, this is a Josh pick, I guess it has something to do with grain harvesting.
9:05 – Maria Full of Grace (IFC)
In case your evening didn’t have enough horrific abortion, IFC has your back.
9:30 – South Park: “Casa Bonita” (Comedy Central)
An amazing, incredible, classic episode.
Late Night
Regis is on Dave, Evangeline Lilly is on Jay, Steve Carrell is on Conan, John Cusack is on Craig, Bill Moyers is on Jon, and some Titanic lady is on Colbert.
This week went by FAR to slowly, perhaps because I spent the whole time counting down to this Monday, when a new season of American Gladiators comes back. It will have new events, new gladiators and the same rampant fanboyism from Jeff and me. Expect a more complete preview tomorrow.
But how else did we spend our time this week?
A little more than a week ago we were enjoying the Kentucky Derby – and then spent most of Monday feeling bad for enjoying it.
So seeing as the strike is (essentially) over, I assume my television will be instantly filled with a bounty of 30 Rock and The Office. I can’t wait!
8:00 – American Gladiators (NBC)
This week we spotlight the biggest omission of the current revival: the Atlasphere. I don’t know about you, but nothing says Gladiators like dudes rolling around in steel balls (aside from, perhaps, dudes smacking each other with Q-Tips). Please, Hulk Hogan, bring back the balls.
8:00 – Prison Break (FOX)
The image of Prison Break that I have in my head is that every season is spent trying to, well, break out of a prison, only to discover in the season finale that they’re still stuck inside an even bigger prison. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Late Night
Dave’s lead guest tonight is “2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover revealed”. I loved him in that movie! Ferguson hosts my mortal enemy, Julie Chen.
Ninety minutes of Gladiators? Oh, what a wondrous bounty the National Broadcasting Co. hath deposited upon our viewing platters! (Look, I heard Crush digs the fancy talk.)
8:00 – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
“Durr durr durr, I’m Josh, I write for 2.0somethings and I won’t shut up about this dumb sitcom I watch.” (Heads up: it’s a rerun.)
9:00 – Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (FOX)
8:00 – American Gladiators (NBC)