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Monday, January 5, 2009

Your Morning News 1.05.09

Posted by Josh in , , , , , , ,

And we are back! Let me tell you, ANYONE can do year-end wrap up in the year they actually occurred, but only this blog can bring you on a nostalgic tour of 2008 with the  distance and  perspective that comes from the first week of 2009. So this week, now that the trees and “menorahs” have been taken down and the New Years hangover is over (replaced with a regular Monday hangover) we will be looking at some of the highs and lows of last year. But first! The news.

If you have really checked out over vacation and are only just coming back to the world, you may have missed that news that Israel has invaded the Gaza strip. Responding to the endless, if sporadic, rocket attacks coming from within Gaza, the Israeli army retaliated through massive air strikes and now with a ground offensive that has cut the strip in half. Fighting has left over 500 Palestinians dead (100 civilians) and a rapidly developing humanitarian crisis is putting millions in danger of starvation. Many experts are saying that Israel chose now to strike because they knew the Bush administration would support them pretty much no matter what they did. That has proven to be the case as the US has blocked moves in the UN to condemn Israel. This will be a major challenge for President-elect Obama when he takes office.

Your favorite, formerly bearded, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson has withdrawn his name from consideration for Secretary of Commerce. Apparently, he is the subject of an ongoing investigation into political donations made to him by a company with massive business interests in front of the state. This might not be the last we hear of him; President-elect Obama has signaled that he is interested in reviving the special envoys to deal with global crisis areas. I am not sure but I don’t think that requires legislative approval.

Because Republicans can’t stand building roads or feeding the hungry, President-elect Obama’s massive stimulus bill *titter* will contain almost $300 billion in tax cuts designed to attract Republican support for the parts that will actually help. Cha-CHING.

Al Franken is going to be the likely winner of the Minnesota senate seat by a margin of about 200 votes. That is awesome in so many ways.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Your Morning News 3.21.08

Posted by Jeff in , , , , ,

 Apparently Barry’s countless nights out on Bill’s front lawn worked: New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson endorsed Barack Obama this morning, calling him a ‘once-in-a-lifetime leader.’ The endorsement comes at a crucial time in the dead zone between primaries for Obama, as he attempts to stem Senator Clinton’s comeback in the polls. Also of note are some State Department employees who got a little too curious and were fired after inappropriately accessing Obama’s passport data.

The much vaunted AIDS vaccine is apparently an enormous bust, possibly infecting hundreds of participants. Silly researchers, as any South Park watcher knows, the only cure is $180,000 shot directly into the bloodstream.

Finally, it wouldn’t be one of Jeff’s Patented Morning News Crapfests without a Spitzer mention: he’s going to be treated for sex addiction! Fantastic, tip your waitresses everybody, and have a wonderful weekend.