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Monday, April 7, 2008

OMG TV: Sweet taste of failure

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8:00 – Empire Records (Fuse)

Now hear this: no more ‘the quirky neighborhood business is going under, we need to save it!’ movies, ever, ever, ever. If memory serves, however, pre-Bridget Jones Renee Zellweger does play a total slut in this movie, so there’s that.

9:00 EST – NCAA Championship Game (CBS)

Well, we’ve had the enjoyment of watching the dreams of 63 teams be crushed so far, and now there’s only one dream-crushing left to go – but it is a big’un. Watch as one team climbs up to cut down the net, while the other climbs up to hang themselves. (I’m going to meet my suicide joke quota early this week.)

9:00 – Dr. Giggles (CHILL)

I don’t get the Chill channel, and I have no idea what this movie is about, but it earns my seal of approval for what I imagine are obvious reasons.

Late Night

Thomas Hayden Church lets us in on Wings movie version rumors on Leno, Steve Harvey is upstaged by the excellent musical stylings of Hot Chip on Conan, Bob Saget (“That is WRONG!”) hits up Ferguson, Stewart has Nathan Lane, Colbert goes toe-to-toe with Jesse Ventura, and Letterman has the week off (slacker, but apparently he needs the rest).

Friday, January 18, 2008

Television of the Future 1.18.08

Posted by Jeff in , , ,

Welcome to the weekly “get a life” edition of the TV listings. I don’t even feel bad about listing a repeat House episode because, seriously, get a life.

Bob Saget8:00 – 1 vs. 100 (NBC)

Look: Bob Saget entertained you for seven years on Full House, the least you could do is watch an episode of his generic flashy game show. Because if you don’t, he might make another HBO special, and then we’re all screwed.

9:00 – Borat: Cultural Learnings for Blah Blah Blah (HBO)

Too cheap to spring for the $10 Sweeney Todd movie ticket? Put on Borat and pretend that Pam Anderson is Helena Bonham Carter, and that Ken Davitian’s horrible hairy ass is Johnny Depp’s horrible hairy ass.

9:00 – House (FOX)

“A 34-year-old supermom is hospitalized after spasms in her arms cause an auto accident. Then she has a stroke.” Then she contracts smallpox. Then she makes a full recovery! Then she gets hair cancer.

Late Night

Diane Keaton and Jim Gaffigan just happen to be in the neighborhood and stop by Letterman, and Ferguson welcomes Ted Danson. All hail Danson.