8:30 EST – Monday Night Football: Packers at Saints (ESPN)
Young Aaron Rodgers faces off against Saints stalwart Drew Brees – who, coincidentally, is this week’s member of Jeff’s fantasy impact! All I need is 6 points, Breesy. Hook a brother up.
9:30 – Ricky Gervais: Out of England (HBO)
I can’t say I was a very big fan of Gervais’ other specials (including Animals and Fame), and though this special taped at Madison Square Garden is hardly perfect, it hits more often than it misses. If that’s not a ringing endorsement, I don’t know what is.
10:00 – Boston Legal (ABC)
Gotta love themed episodes – it’s a very David E. Kelly Thanksgiving, as the Crane Poole & Schmidt crew gather at Shirley’s house to argue over who gets to have sex with the turkey. (Spoilers: Shatner chugs gravy.)
Late Night
Nicole Kidman used to be married to Tom Cruise. Compared to that, appearing on Letterman tonight should be a breeze. Kanye West also performs. Meanwhile, Leno begs Ron Howard to take off his ballcap, and Hugh Jackman is charming and Australian on Conan. Stewart and Colbert are taking the week off.
The whole summer sabbatical was totally engineered by me, since I didn’t want to deal with anymore crappy summer reruns and – Titan, forgive me – even American Gladiators was starting to bore me. But we’re a month into the fall season – or, if you’re watching Fox, days away from the beginning of it. So on with the show!
8:30 – Monday Night Football: Colts at Titans (ESPN)
One of these teams is 6-0, one is 3-3. And Peyton, buddy, you ain’t undefeated. Bizarre. (Jeff’s weekly fantasy implication: Colts defense.)
8:35 – The Life and Times of Tim (HBO)
In the same vein as Seinfeld and Always Sunny, The Life and Times of Tim is an absurdly irreverent cartoon that makes you hate yourself for laughing at something so freaking dumb. And if that’s not what television is for, then I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.
9:00 – Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel)
Tony’s in the Southwest, and Ted Nugent is too. Nuff said.
10:02 – Boston Legal (ABC)
Spader and Shatner head out to a Dude Ranch, and Betty White (pictured) is in the hizzouse. Yeah, that’s Betty freakin’ White. Damn.
Late Night
Bill O’Reilly brings his sparring gloves to Letterman, Chris Rock allows Leno one use of the racial epithet of his choice, Charles Barkely bets Conan $125,000 that he doesn’t have a gambling problem, Campbell Brown is delectable on The Daily Show, and… Yo-Yo Ma on Colbert.
Wow, the West is so fresh and incredible and jam-packed full of great teams and– oh, we’re down to just the Spurs and Lakers again. Bummer. Can Chris Paul sub in on one of the teams? Please??
9:15 – The Return of Maxwell Smart (HBO Family)
As good as a movie with Steve Carell, Alan Arkin, and the Rock sounds in theory, the Get Smart previews have the slight air of… well… flop. Take a look at the first attempt at a Get Smart movie, actually with Don Adams, and start steeling yourself for June 20.
10:00 – Boston Legal (ABC)
It’s the season finale, and a cast shakeup is in the future, so you might want to say a final goodbye to some of your favorite bit-characters-that-inexplicably-got-promoted-to-regular-cast-members, such as weird cross dressing chubby black guy (who I only just realized played Smart Brother in Undercover Brother), and weird super-neurotic white guy with glasses.
Late Night
The younger and hotter Sex and the City cast member is on Letterman, Adam Sandler plays in Leno’s sandbox, Harrison Ford probably falls asleep on Conan, Laura Dern crawls out of the nineties on Ferguson, and Comedy Central continues to forsake us.
Wednesday is a pretty weak night – there is not much out there for those of us without Tivo from the glut that is Monday and Tuesday.
10:00 pm EST – Boston Legal (ABC)
After seeing William Shatner speak Monday about his new autobiography, I find myself very much excited to get back into Boston Legal. Tonight’s episode, where politicians try to convince Denny to run for President, promises lots of Shatnery goodness.
10:00 pm EST – Top Chef (Bravo)
Tonight’s episode features the contestants in a challenge to make salads cool and to make an unhealthy dish healthier. The producers of this show have finally found a way to keep me from getting hungry while watching.
??? – John Edwards Endorsing Barack Obama (CNN/MSNBC/Fox News)
Even when we trade off, I still manage to squeeze in some current events. That’s right, dreamboat and former Presidential candidate John Edwards will be endorsing Senator Barack Obama at a rally in Michigan tonight. I don’t know when the big show will be (probably around 9 pm EST so that it can hit prime time in most of the country), but there will be a lot of chattering all night for those who like that sort of thing.
Late Night
Leno is hosting a debate between Howard Dean and newly announced Republican Vice Presidential candidate Rainn Wilson. Letterman has Jack Hanna. Conan has Leighton Meester. Stewart has John Harwood and Colbert has Laura Dern.
8:00 PM EST – Pennsylvania Primary Results (Everywhere)
We’re finally out of that six week purgatory where instead of actual votes by, you know, voters, we had stupid allegations about people’s pastors and appearances by candidates on WWE Monday Night Raw. The nominee is decided tonight*!
10:00 – John Oliver: Terrifying Times (Comedy Central)
The previews make it look like he touches on some pretty well-worn political subjects, but then again, it’s John Oliver! His accent is hilarious!
10:00 – Boston Legal (ABC)
Alan Shore goes before the Supreme Court for some reason or another. Question is, does this lay the groundwork for another David E. Kelley spinoff, Chief Justice William Shatner?
Late Night
Helen Hunt is on Letterman promoting Twister 2 (or would that be 2ister?), Julia Louis-Dreyfus is on Leno promoting The Old Adventures of New Elaine (I think I made that ‘joke’ in January), Brad Garrett makes Kimmel look intelligent, Andy Richter is on Conan (no, it’s not a rerun from 1995), and Jack “Kenneth from 30 Rock” McBrayer is on Ferguson.
8:30 EST – Monday Night Football: Packers at Saints (ESPN)
The whole summer sabbatical was totally engineered by me, since I didn’t want to deal with anymore crappy summer reruns and – Titan, forgive me – even American Gladiators was starting to bore me. But we’re a month into the fall season – or, if you’re watching Fox, days away from the beginning of it. So on with the show!