Wednesday, November 26, 2008
8:00 – World Magic Awards (My Network TV)
Find out what’s new and innovative in the world of magic tri– err, illusions, with your special host Neil Patrick Harris. I’d like to pop a rabbit out of his hat! Right guys? Good luck trying to figure out what the hell My Network TV is.
8:00 – True Life: I’m Getting Married (MTV)
Two hours of youngsters talking about getting married. Use their broken, horrible lives as ammunition against prying parents and grandparents demanding to know when you’ll settle down at the Thankgiving table tomorrow night.
10:00 – Barbara Walters Interview with Barack Obama (ABC)
What’s left to know? Wonder who his early Oscar picks are.
Late Night
Teri Hatcher demonstrates how Botox can go so wrong on Letterman, Heidi Klum demonstrates how it can go so right on Leno, and Ethan Hawke is probably going to look pretty scruffy on Conan.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
8:00 – Letters from Iwo Jima (AMC)
Clint Eastwood set a new standard for filmmaking when he took his script for Flags of Our Fathers, pumped it through Babel Fish’s English-to-Japanese translator, and tossed in a little Ken Watanabe action. Of course, Michael Bay’s attempt to translate Tora Tora Tora wasn’t nearly as successful.
8:15 – Finding Forrester (HDNet Movies)
It was just yesterday that I was indulging in a little net nostalgia trip over at yourethemannowdog.com. These 2001-era websites are the leaders and innovators that pushed us forward into a brave new world of LOLCATZ.
9:00 – Lost (ABC)
From now on, the Lost commentary will be provided by BarackObamaIsYourNewBicycle.com. Take it away, boys!
Lost held your hand when you were frightened
Lost set your voice as his ringtone
Lost recited a poem that reminded him of you
10:00 – Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew (VH1)
I won’t be watching, but only because the Good Doctor is taking his patients to Catalina Island, the site of what my Least Favorite Book Of All Time That I Had To Read In Fourth Grade, Island of the Blue Dolphins. That shit was terrible. The douchebag author doesn’t even have a good website. Hey Scott O’Dell, just because you died in 1989 doesn’t mean your website has to look like it’s from 1989.
Late Night
Letterman’s on a real roller coaster of quality tonight, starting high with Steve Martin and then… shadow puppets. Hrm. James “Meathook” McAvoy and Heidi Klum are on Leno, and Conan turns up the sexual tension when Barbara Walters shows up. Firefly nerds (read: Josh) take note, Summer Glau is on Carson Daly. This marks the last time we ever mention Carson Daly here.
