The House passed the $900 billion stimulus package on what was an almost party-line vote. The bill now moves to the Senate, where good legislation goes to die. However, it appears likely that more Senate Republicans are willing to support the bill so it may have an easier time passing. I gave you your talking points on this yesterday. Slate pointed out that USA Today has a great little outline of what is contained in the bill. Read it and say things like, “Everyone is talking about infrastructure, but the $53.4 billion to support science facilities, high-speed Internet and other energy programs are what really could transform the US economy.” THAT will make you cool, I think.
Republicans are trying to figure out who they are at the RNC winter meeting. If I might suggest something to my differently inclined brethren, don’t go in this direction.
You know what I miss from the campaign? Profiles about how awesome Obama is that include lots of great behinds the scenes Obama porn. What’s that? No suit jackets in the Oval Office? He likes to keep the thermostat really high? Business casual? Aloha zen? Yes, that’s what daddy likes…
On what I can only assume was a dare, The Wall Street Journal has an Op-Ed from Rush Limbaugh over how he would structure a bipartisan bailout bill. He is not an economist, but he does use the word “porkulus.”
To get the taste out of my mouth I turned to Kristof, who is advocating for a high-level commission to investigate torture, secret detention and wiretapping.
And finally, because we have a duty to our readers to provide as much pirate-related news as we can find, BBC magazine has a great article about how exactly pirates get paid their ransoms for the ships they hijack.
Time for the most special television day of the year: Thanksgiving! Prepare for hundreds of crappily computer animated turkeys waddling across the screen at all times – just like this one! Look at him go, down the field! Rah rah rah!
It’s not that the TV is particularly good or anything today, but it certainly is plentiful and it provides the perfect excuse to stay the hell away from the kitchen, because face it, you’re not qualified for anything besides opening the canned cranberry sauce. After the jump, your full guide to the day’s boob tube festivities.
What could be more dramatic than Dr. House and crew struggling to deal with a potentially deadly case of agoraphobia? Many things. But that’s what you get.
Letterman hosts Colbert-rival Don Rickles, John McCain shows up on Leno to ask if he’s President yet, Seth Green wanders over to Conan from this week’s Entourage, Thomas Friedman test drives a hybrid-electric moustache on the Daily Show, and Sacramento Mayor-Elect/ex-Sacramento King Kevin Johnson dribbles over to Colbert.
Let me preface this by saying that I love Peanuts, Snoopy, Charles Schulz and all that good stuff. That being said, the comic strip is starting to disappear from newspapers, the voice of Snoopy died last month, and Linus had that unfortunate anti-semitic DUI incident. How much longer does the Peanuts franchise have? Do kids these days even know Peanuts?
8:00 – House (FOX)
Look, nothing’s going to beat last episode’s hot-naked-lesbian action, or last episode’s Wilson-back-in-action action. Tonight’s character scuttlebutt involves Cuddy adopting a baby or something. Adorable! But it sure ain’t lesbians.
8:00 – NBA Basketball: Cavaliers at Celtics (TNT)
King James faces the reigning champs as a new season of the NBA gets underway. Stick around after for the Trailblazers at Lakers, and watch the hilarity as Greg Oden busts his knee for the season two minutes into the first quarter.
Late Night
Regis Philbin is on Letterman, Seth Rogen and David Gregory are charmingly everymannish on Leno, Tina Fey rekindles her romance with Conan, Steve Martin calms his happy feet on Jon Stewart, and Sherman Alexie does whatever authors I’ve never heard of before do on Colbert.
May sweeps are upon us , that means season finales and premieres as real TV ends and bizarro summer TV begins.
8:30 pm EST – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
I will watch the show wrap up confident that it has been picked up for another season but with the gnawing doubt that it was saved by Britney Spears. It’s like the beating of a hideous heart!
9:00 pm EST – House (FOX)
This show pretty much jumped the shark as soon as it brought on Kumar. However, I am considering tuning in for this episode because of the following 6 words: “Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst guest stars.” Man, whatever happened to that guy.
8:00 pm EST - American Gladiators (NBC)
I missed last week’s premiere, as did a lot of people. Apparently men in spandex hitting each other with foam pads doesn’t have the same appeal when there isn’t a writers strike going on. I will be tuning in tonight, as the show turns around and begins its inexorable march towards becoming not only the smash hit of the summer, but the highest-rated program ever (take that Super Bowl XLII).
Last Night
Stewart and Colbert are on vacation (not that anything political is happening). Letterman has Kevin Spacey and Sen. Jim Webb – he wants to remind everyone he does NOT want to be Vice President (Webb, that is, actually probably Spacey too). Leno has Simon Cowell and Conan has Kevin Nealon.
Time for the most special television day of the year: Thanksgiving! Prepare for hundreds of crappily computer animated turkeys waddling across the screen at all times – just like this one! Look at him go, down the field! Rah rah rah!
8:00 – House (FOX)
