Monday, January 5, 2009
Top Gear
8:00 (BBC America)
The trio of British gearheads travel to the Land of the Rising Sun, in what I’m sure will be the best car-related programming to come out of Japan since 3 Fast 3 Furious: Tokyo Drift.
Fiesta Bowl
8:15 EST (FOX)
Yes, it’s the bowl game that is also probably something on the dollar menu at Taco Bell! Watch Ohio State battle Texas, and watch as the victorious coach gets dunked in nacho cheese.
How I Met Your Mother
8:30 (CBS)
It’s a repeat of this season’s opener, which means you can relive that glorious month that was September 2008. Hey, remember when McCain suspended his campaign? Is there anyone cooler than Michael Phelps?
Late Night
Kate Hudson is nearly famous on Letterman, Terry Bradshaw keeps hoping Failure to Launch 2 will sustain his acting career on Leno, Benicio del Toro is on Conan for 5 hours, Richard Lewis is the guest from hell on Ferguson, David Gregory meets the fake press on the Daily Show, and John King continues to stalk the Comedy Central crowd on Colbert.
Friday, December 19, 2008
- When his wife dumps him. Entirely unsubstantiated rumor flying around the Interwebs has Cindy McCain carrying on an affair with a Maryland divorce attorney. How better to gain sympathy?
- When he loses 5 of his 7 houses. See above.
- When he makes us ribs. During the campaign, McCain nearly kept the Obama-loving press in his corner with his well-known barbeque skills. Hit us up, Johnny, we’ll bring the potato salad.
- When he singlehandedly catches Osama Bin Laden. He’s promised he knows how to do so, and I’m sure despite losing the Presidency, he’ll still book a trip to the gates of hell.
- When he lets Meghan do Playboy.
- When he guest stars not just on 24, but on How I Met Your Mother. See photo above.
- When he inadvertently outs Sen. Graham by calling him his confirmed bachelor friend. Come on, the guy’s name is Lindsey.
Monday, December 15, 2008
8:00 – Heat (Bravo)
It’s Pacino vs. De Niro, and don’t worry, it’s definitely not Righteous Kill.
8:00 – I want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown (ABC)
Good God, what the hell is this one? From 2003, apparently, and it centers on ReRun, the piece of shit from when Peanuts jumped the shark in 1973.
8:30 – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
I finally did it: I watched an episode of this, Josh’s favorite show, Doogie & The Gang or whatever it’s called. And you know what? Not half-bad. Not half-bad. Not enough to get me to turn away from Antique’s Roadshow at 8:30, but it was still something.
9:00 – Trainspotting (IFC)
Nothing will put you in the holiday spirit more than mind-numbing tales of crippling addiction. (There’s some Intervention episodes on A&E too.)
9:30 – Charlie Wilson’s War (HBO)
Tom Hanks fixes Afghanistan! Philip Seymour Hoffman shouts a lot! Aaron Sorkin pens!
Late Night
Adam Sandler tells Letterman some Bedtime Stories (get it? get it?), Kate Winslet seduces a 16-year old Leno, Amy Adams and Eddie Izzard both have the privelege of discussing events of the day with Conan, and The Daily Show and Colbert are done for the year.
Monday, November 17, 2008
8:30 EST – Monday Night Football: Browns at Bills (ESPN)
Apparently there was some scandal or something involving yesterday’s Chargers/Steelers game and point spreads or something or other. All I know is that I already lost my fantasy game for the week, so I will spend the rest of this post/week pouting.
8:30 – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
So the real question is: which is better, Jamie-Lynn Sigler’s guest spot on Entourage last night, or her guest spot on HIMYM tonight? Or her shoulda-been-Emmy-nominated turn in the Heidi Fleiss TV movie? Answer: none of the above.
9:00 – The Sea Inside (IFC)
Javier Bardem went scary for No Country and sexy for Vicky Cristina – here he goes quadriplegic for The Sea Inside. The feel good movie of the year!
Late Night
Emma Thompson legitimizes acting on Letterman, Kiefer Sutherland delegitimizes it again on Leno, Snoop Dogg abstains from the argument on Conan, David Frost tells Jon he wanted to play himself in Frost/Nixon on the Daily Show, and Colbert doubles down with Tom Brokaw and Malcolm Gladwell.
Monday, May 19, 2008
May sweeps are upon us , that means season finales and premieres as real TV ends and bizarro summer TV begins.
8:30 pm EST – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
I will watch the show wrap up confident that it has been picked up for another season but with the gnawing doubt that it was saved by Britney Spears. It’s like the beating of a hideous heart!
9:00 pm EST – House (FOX)
This show pretty much jumped the shark as soon as it brought on Kumar. However, I am considering tuning in for this episode because of the following 6 words: “Limp Bizkit’s Fred Durst guest stars.” Man, whatever happened to that guy.
8:00 pm EST - American Gladiators (NBC)
I missed last week’s premiere, as did a lot of people. Apparently men in spandex hitting each other with foam pads doesn’t have the same appeal when there isn’t a writers strike going on. I will be tuning in tonight, as the show turns around and begins its inexorable march towards becoming not only the smash hit of the summer, but the highest-rated program ever (take that Super Bowl XLII).
Last Night
Stewart and Colbert are on vacation (not that anything political is happening). Letterman has Kevin Spacey and Sen. Jim Webb – he wants to remind everyone he does NOT want to be Vice President (Webb, that is, actually probably Spacey too). Leno has Simon Cowell and Conan has Kevin Nealon.
