Thursday, May 22, 2008
There’s nothing good on tonight, but when trying to find the least offensive programming, you might stumble onto a minefield. So let’s instead tell you what not to watch:
8:00 – So You Think You Can Dance (FOX)
Two hours! Of crappy dancing!
9:00 – Grey’s Anatomy (ABC)
Two hours! Of whiny doctors!
9:00 – The Devil Wears Prada (HBO)
Two hours! Of stupid New Yorkers being mean to each other or something!
Terrible. Just terrible. Why not try some lovely Pistons at Celtics at 8:30 on ESPN, or perhaps the classic South Park episode “How to Eat with your Butt”, on Comedy Central at 9:30. And then, if you can survive long enough, there’s…
Late Night
Richard Lewis on Conan. Back on the list of things to avoid, you’ve got Sarah Jessica Parker on Letterman and Terry Bradshaw on Leno.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
9:00 – NBA Playoffs: Spurs @ Lakers (TNT)
Wow, the West is so fresh and incredible and jam-packed full of great teams and– oh, we’re down to just the Spurs and Lakers again. Bummer. Can Chris Paul sub in on one of the teams? Please??
9:15 – The Return of Maxwell Smart (HBO Family)
As good as a movie with Steve Carell, Alan Arkin, and the Rock sounds in theory, the Get Smart previews have the slight air of… well… flop. Take a look at the first attempt at a Get Smart movie, actually with Don Adams, and start steeling yourself for June 20.
10:00 – Boston Legal (ABC)
It’s the season finale, and a cast shakeup is in the future, so you might want to say a final goodbye to some of your favorite bit-characters-that-inexplicably-got-promoted-to-regular-cast-members, such as weird cross dressing chubby black guy (who I only just realized played Smart Brother in Undercover Brother), and weird super-neurotic white guy with glasses.
Late Night
The younger and hotter Sex and the City cast member is on Letterman, Adam Sandler plays in Leno’s sandbox, Harrison Ford probably falls asleep on Conan, Laura Dern crawls out of the nineties on Ferguson, and Comedy Central continues to forsake us.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
All Night Long – Indiana and North Carolina Primary Coverage (CNN/MSNBC/SpikeTV)
This one’s for all the marbles. Well, 187 marbles.
8:00 EST – NBA Playoffs, Cavaliers at Celtics (TNT)
After barely squeaking out of the last round (except for, you know, the game 7 blowout), the New and Improved Celtics are ready for King James and his minions. Let’s hope that this series results in some LeBron themed Jay-Z freestyle as well.
Late Night
Letterman? Ashton. Leno? Ricci. Kimmel? Downey Jr. Ferguson? Goodman. Conan? Lee… screw it, Jason Lee. The real gem, however, is Fareed Zakaria on the Daily Show, most likely discussing this week’s killer Newsweek cover story. Tune in.
Monday, April 28, 2008
8:00 EST – NBA Playoffs: Celtics at Hawks (TNT)
Just when you thought there would be one sure-fire sweep in the east, the Boston went and lost to Atlanta to bring the series to 2-1. Can the scrappy Hawks even the series? (No.)
9:00 – House (FOX)
New episodes of House start this week, but the real question on America’s mind is: how will Dr. Kal Penn perform after his weekend trip to Amsterdam?
10:00 – Spy Hard (AMC)
What? What? It’s got Weird Al singing the theme song! What more do you want?
Late Night
Gwyneth Paltrow and Richard Lewis work out their neuroses on Letterman, Helen Hunt is all Helen Hunty on Leno, Ewan McGregor wonders where his career went on Ferguson, Marisa Tomei does much the same on Conan, Jimmy Carter farms some peanuts on Stewart and Feist sells some iPods on Colbert.
