My single biggest regret from college, honestly, is not getting to know a cool professor, particularly one like Donald Sutherland in Animal House. And not just because that dude had some chill grass.
9:00 EST – NBA Finals Game 6 (ABC)
It’s back in Boston, baby, and I bet you this entire blog that the Celtics put it away. (Don’t tell Josh.)
10:00 – 30 Days (FX)
Morgan Spurlock’s documentary series is often a great way to shed light on a group of people who I can’t stand. But tonight’s might push me over the edge: a hunting activist moves in with a PETA protester. I really honestly can’t tell who I want to be dropped down a mineshaft more.
10:00 – Jim Gaffigan: Beyond the Pale (Comedy Central)
I do a killer Jim Gaffigan impression. Particularly that bit he always does with the high pitched internal monologue of some confused prude in the audience. “What is he doing up there? I’m uncomfortable!” Trust me, it’s great.
Late Night
Might I interest you in some Steve Carrell and Lance Armstrong on Letterman? No? Then I strongly recommend Don Rickles and Charles Barkley on Leno. Not your speed? Hmm. Well, I don’t think you would like the Megan Mullally on Conan, but maybe the CBS News cutie Lara Logan on The Daily Show, or the author Jonathan Zittrain on Colbert would meet your fancy.
The creepiest man in America today, Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis, said it was like “finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch” when his staff found a nude Mistress Spitzer, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, in their video archives. On a hunch, the staff went back further in the archives and found that a drunk Eliot Spitzer would do anything (and we mean anything) for some beads.
Arthur C. Clarke, author, visionary, and the original badass from Sri Lanka (take that, M.I.A.) passed away at 90. He was immediately reborn as the starchild.
Don’t quote us on this, but our sources tells us that this is the only Terminator installment so far that does not feature gratuitous Schwarzenegger ass. Unfortunately, there appears to be a connection between said ass and movie quality.
9:00 – MythBusters (Discovery)
A completely MacGyver themed episode. Nice. Next week: a completely Charles in Charge themed episode. Hmm…
9:00ET – Los Angeles Lakers at Phoenix Suns (ESPN)
The best NBA rivalry you didn’t miss hearing about constantly is back! Trust us, Shaq being an overpriced relic is only going to make the game better.
9:00 – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (HBO2)
Pop on Gondry’s greatest and set phasers to ‘numb feelings through alcohol’!
Late Night
Dave goes to his happy place with Amy Sedaris and, I kid you not, the national grocery bagging champion. A fresh-faced young group out of Seattle named the “Foo Fighters” provide music. Leno unites star-crossed lovers Garth Brooks and Christina Ricci at last, and Ferguson chats with Tom Selleck’s moustache for a while (note: Tom Selleck himself may or may not be there). Conan stoops to Randy Jackson, and Stephen Colbert is off sipping appletinis while Jon Stewart rushes to get some Oscar jokes written (“What’s the deal with Juno, am I right?”).
8:00 – Animal House (AMC)
8:00 – Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (FX)