Rapper wives! Okay, there’s nothing on tonight, sorry gang.
Late Night
Meredith Vierya and Deadliest Catch‘s Andy Hillstrang are on Conan, rap royalty Queen Latifah and Emma Watson are on Letterman, and then reruns rerun reruns!
How the hell do you pronounce Syfy anyway? See-fee? Si-fi? Syuff-fuff? Sikkle-fickle? Series premiere of a new Soff-foff original tonight, be there!
Burn After Reading
8:00 (HBO)
Many like to pan the Coen Bros. when they dabble in comedy, but how can you not adore Brad Pitt and George Clooney’s performances in this film? And J.K. Simmons!
South Park
9:00 (Comedy Central)
It’s been a rough day on all of us what with the Michael Jackson Memorial and, more importantly, the Michael Jackson Memorial Coverage. Unwind with a little time in the cruder parts of Colorado.
Late Night
Samuel Motherfucking Jackson and Entourage’s Kevin Connolly are on Conan (with Andrew Bird), Brüno desecrates Letterman’s set, and then I hope you liked last week’s Stewart and Colberts the first time, because they’re on again!
It’s like Dr. House, except it’s a lady (from The Sopranos!), and they can swear! And that girl who plays awkward girls a lot plays an awkward nurse!
Manhattan
8:00 (TCM)
Maybe this isn’t quite as classy as last week’s recommendation of Down Periscope, but we try to culture y’all readers.
Late Night
Howie Mandel informs us as to Howie Do It alongside Alanis Morrisette on Conan (musical guest: Death Cab for Cutie), Wimbledon champ Serena Williams and not-as-attractive-as-everybody-seems-to-think Heroes cheerleader Hayden Panettierre are on Letterman, and now Jon Stewart and Colbert take the week off.
There’s a lot of talk about what’s going to be paired up with It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia when it returns in the fall, and two top contenders are new shows from Norm MacDonald and Louis CK. Could FX slip by and become the funniest network on TV?
30 Rock
8:00 (NBC)
Sure, it’s a 30 Rock rerun, but it’s the season one classic “Jack-Tor,” featuring Jack preparing for his cameo appearance on TGS, and the infamous Snapple product placement.
Grizzly Man
8:00 (Animal Planet)
Sometimes, after a long week of work, you just feel like going home, sitting down, kicking back, and watching a guy get eaten by a bear. What, that’s weird? Screw you, you’re weird.
Down Periscope
8:00 (FOX)
There is 100% less bear-eating-man in Down Periscope, but infinitely more Kelsey Grammar. You be the judge.
Late Night
Stewart’s got Food Inc. director Robert Kenner, Colbert has mountain climber Ed Viesturs, Conan reruns Norm MacDonald‘s instant classic appearance along with Jim Gaffigan, Letterman’s got Sandra Bullock and Fallon has Maya Rudolph.
The season and presumably series finale of Pitchmen caps off a day-long marathon in tribute to Billy Mays, and we’re hoping it ends with a plug for a Pitchmen DVD set for just $19.99 if you call now!
Reno 911!
10:30 (Comedy Central)
It’s time for Secret Santa in the biggest little city in the world. Can we pause for a moment and see if anyone here has actually been to Reno? It’s terrible. It’s the worst. Even Reno 911! can’t even display the full reach of Reno’s awfulness.
Jon Stewart brings on author Justin Fox, Colbert raids the Times and comes up with Nic Kristof, and rerun week includes Eddie Murphy and Angela Kinsey on Conan, Denzel Washington and the Jonas Brothers on Letterman, and Spocks collide on Fallon with Zachary Quinto and Leonard Nimoy.
