Monday, December 15, 2008
8:00 – Heat (Bravo)
It’s Pacino vs. De Niro, and don’t worry, it’s definitely not Righteous Kill.
8:00 – I want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown (ABC)
Good God, what the hell is this one? From 2003, apparently, and it centers on ReRun, the piece of shit from when Peanuts jumped the shark in 1973.
8:30 – How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
I finally did it: I watched an episode of this, Josh’s favorite show, Doogie & The Gang or whatever it’s called. And you know what? Not half-bad. Not half-bad. Not enough to get me to turn away from Antique’s Roadshow at 8:30, but it was still something.
9:00 – Trainspotting (IFC)
Nothing will put you in the holiday spirit more than mind-numbing tales of crippling addiction. (There’s some Intervention episodes on A&E too.)
9:30 – Charlie Wilson’s War (HBO)
Tom Hanks fixes Afghanistan! Philip Seymour Hoffman shouts a lot! Aaron Sorkin pens!
Late Night
Adam Sandler tells Letterman some Bedtime Stories (get it? get it?), Kate Winslet seduces a 16-year old Leno, Amy Adams and Eddie Izzard both have the privelege of discussing events of the day with Conan, and The Daily Show and Colbert are done for the year.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
8:00 – Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (ABC)
The classic from our youth, where Snoopy… actually, I don’t remember this special at all. And I even remember the It’s the Super Bowl, Charlie Brown! special that I got on VHS from the local Chevron station. Hmm.
9:00 – Bad Lieutenant (AMC)
I hear you. “Thanksgiving and Christmas specials? I need more NC-17 rated Harvey Keitel action. And I’m not talking Life on Mars.” Well, here you go. Keep the kiddies away.
10:00 – A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! (Comedy Central)
In case you missed the premiere on Sunday night, here’s the repeat of the musical special. Sorry, Stephen, not so sure this one’s going to become a holiday classic – too much green screen, not enough claymation and puppetry. (Quick guide to the musical numbers – Stephen’s: meh, Toby Keith’s: meh, Willie Nelson’s: extra disappointed meh, John Legend: groovy meh, Feist: hilarious, thank God, Closing Number: pretty good.)
Late Night
Reese Witherspoon is spending Christmas with four different talk show hosts! Wait, no she’s not, but she is going to be on Letterman. Once-W and soon-to-be-Jonah-Hex Josh Brolin stops by Leno (as do the Killers), Kanye West and Seth MacFarlane debate which is funnier – Family Guy or Kanye’s singing on 808′s and Heartbreak – on Conan, and Jon and Stephen are still on vacation.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
8:00 – It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Let me preface this by saying that I love Peanuts, Snoopy, Charles Schulz and all that good stuff. That being said, the comic strip is starting to disappear from newspapers, the voice of Snoopy died last month, and Linus had that unfortunate anti-semitic DUI incident. How much longer does the Peanuts franchise have? Do kids these days even know Peanuts?
8:00 – House (FOX)
Look, nothing’s going to beat last episode’s hot-naked-lesbian action, or last episode’s Wilson-back-in-action action. Tonight’s character scuttlebutt involves Cuddy adopting a baby or something. Adorable! But it sure ain’t lesbians.
8:00 – NBA Basketball: Cavaliers at Celtics (TNT)
King James faces the reigning champs as a new season of the NBA gets underway. Stick around after for the Trailblazers at Lakers, and watch the hilarity as Greg Oden busts his knee for the season two minutes into the first quarter.
Late Night
Regis Philbin is on Letterman, Seth Rogen and David Gregory are charmingly everymannish on Leno, Tina Fey rekindles her romance with Conan, Steve Martin calms his happy feet on Jon Stewart, and Sherman Alexie does whatever authors I’ve never heard of before do on Colbert.
